Relationships, Love and Sex - Part 1:
With Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought a good theme to discuss for the next few weeks would be Relationships, Love and Sex. These are complicated topics, full of pitfalls and entanglements, mishaps and risks, and also much bliss and happiness.
It’s the arena in which we can become most vulnerable, in which our deepest intimacies can become known; it can also be the arena in which our buttons are pushed to the max.It is a risk to enter into a relationship with another, to fall in love, and to have sexual relations with another, because the heart is the most fragile of organs.
Many a person has fallen in love only to have their heart broken, and then to swear off ever being in love again; they put a shield around their heart, and enclose it so that it becomes difficult for them to easily feel again.
Being in a relationship and in love is when you are challenged to be the most brutally honest, because it is when your heart and soul is touched by another. You are then forced to either get in touch with your own deepest feelings, or else run away and bury those feelings deep down within.
Everyone wants to be loved, but you also need to know how to love. It takes opening your heart, authenticity, the ability to communicate, compassion, tenderness, understanding, the letting down of your guard, the lessening of expectations, and the ability to be humble and not let your ego take control. In another words, this love thing is a tall order.
Many books exist on the subject, but even the experts are not always expert – for instance, noted relationship author and expert Barbara De Angelis has been married five times. Obviously, getting the love thing down can be complicated.
Life is messy, full of chaos and unpredictability, and so even the best of relationships can be messy. The map of the human heart has many roadblocks and detours along the way.
It is my belief, and I will delve into this with tomorrow’s article, that the more of a Low Density Lifestyle you live, the better your chances of finding a lasting relationship, especially if it is with another person who also lives that way. That is because when two people come together who both live a Low Density Lifestyle, there is a sense of calm and inner peace already within the relationship, leading to less potential for possible friction that can cause problems.
Now, you can work on yourself till the cows come home, but the real test comes when you’re in a relationship, when love comes knocking on your door, and when you have the closest and most intimate of all encounters, the experience of sex, because this is when we are fully tested.
Sex, especially, is a subject that is often considered taboo and not to be talked about in polite circles. Granted, you don’t want to be shouting off a rooftop about your sex life, nor is it necessary to talk about it with everyone you meet. After all, it is a personal matter. But we are a sexually repressed culture, afraid to fully express our primal needs and enjoy the full pleasures of sex.
On my intake form that I have my patients fill out at their initial appointment, I have an area that I ask how they feel about their personal lives, work, family, diet and sex life. I ask people to rate it, from great, to good, fair and poor. Most of my patients rate their sex life fair or poor. A small number rate it good, and a tiny fraction call it great.
But it shouldn’t be that way. After all, it is the most natural of acts. Again, I believe the more of a Low Density Lifestyle a person leads, the better their sex life. After all, if you remember the interview I did with Mimi Kirk (it was the third part), the 71-year-old woman named by PETA as the sexiest vegetarian over 50, she candidly mentioned that her sex life (with her boyfriend 19 years her junior) was great.
Relationships, Love and Sex - Part 2:
In yesterday’s article, Relationships, Love and Sex, Part 1, I began to dissect this crazy little thing called love. I said how these are complicated topics, full of pitfalls and entanglements, mishaps and risks, and also much bliss and happiness.
I also said how it’s the arena in which we can become most vulnerable, in which our deepest intimacies can become known; it can also be the arena in which our buttons are pushed to the max. So let’s delve deeper into it. I’ll also explain why I believe that people who live a Low Density Lifestyle have a better chance of entering into lasting relationships and having better sex.
We are all social animals, and everyone desires to have a social network of friends, family, loved ones and significant other that you desire to spend time together with. Strong relationships are a vital component of a healthy and happy life, while negative relationships can impact health and happiness in a detrimental manner.
When you are living a Low Density Lifestyle, you are naturally attracted to other people who are also living a Low Density Lifestyle, and it is these people who will make up your most intimate social network. If you feel centered, balanced and in the flow, you won’t readily enjoy the company of people who live a completely opposite lifestyle, as it will just be too jarring to your soul.
Interestingly though, people who live a High Density Lifestyle will be naturally attracted to those who live a Low Density Lifestyle, because the calmness and peacefulness of someone living a Low Density Lifestyle is something that can help to balance and center someone living a High Density Lifestyle.
It can actually be a profoundly transformative experience if someone living a High Density Lifestyle allows themselves to open up to the energies and calming influence of someone living a Low Density Lifestyle. So this is truly one case of opposites attracting!
But the tricky thing is that for those living a Low Density Lifestyle, the desire is to have happy and harmonious relationships, and they will go out of their way to find them and to reject relationships that create unhappiness and disharmony.
So it’s not impossible for people on opposite ends of the spectrum to come together — after all, the chemical bond of love transcends all boundaries and overcomes all limitations — it’s just that if you want to have a sustaining and lasting relationship, there needs to be a bonding of two souls, one in which each person can gaze into the other’s eyes and see the reflection of the deep and infinite waters of the Zero-Point Field, which is the origins of universal love and consciousness.
Communication is a big part of a relationship, and failure to communicate is a major reason for breakups. To be able to communicate, each party in a relationship needs to feel loved and safe. Each person in the relationship also has to let go of expectations and not judge or criticize the other, but instead help them to feel comfortable being able to communicate.
Communicating your deepest and most intimate thoughts and feelings is not easy, but if you feel safe and loved, and feel that what you say won’t be held against you, then it is easier to speak from your heart. This happens easiest when both people in the relationship are living a Low Density Lifestyle.
If one or both people in the relationship are living a High Density Lifestyle, then it’s a lot harder, because there’s no feeling of safety in expressing intimate thoughts. These are the relationships that are doomed to fail.
Another important part of a strong and lasting relationship is the sex life. Because those living a Low Density Lifestyle are healthier and more balanced, less stressed and more in the flow, they have the capability of having a strong sex drive and having better sex.
They understand that sexual desire is a natural biological urge, as opposed to a feeling that one should be ashamed of or should repress. They know that sex, and orgasm, make both parties feel good and is a vital part of making love. In addition, sex allows for intimacy and expressions of love, and these are things cherished by those living a Low Density Lifestyle.
For many people living a High Density Lifestyle, the only time when they’re able to relax and feel comfortable having sex is when they imbibe in alcohol or recreational drugs, because these allow them to relax their inhibitions and feel less stressed.
Although sex can be very enjoyable when performed in an altered state, an important part of the sexual experience is the feeling of intimacy that one person has with another, because in that state of intimacy, a strong bond is formed between both people and the flow of love, happiness and joy circulates and is expressed between them.
When a person is having sex in an altered state, the flow is impeded. But unfortunately, for many people living a High Density Lifestyle, having sex while in an altered state is the only way they can get full enjoyment of the act of making love.
Another great aspect of sex is that it increases your chances to be healthier and happier. People who have a regular sex life have been found to have a decreased risk of heart disease and stroke, a decrease in pain in the body, and an increase in life span.
These are enormous motives for having a healthy sex life, but the reality is that in order to have a healthy and happy sex life, it is best that both people involved live a Low Density Lifestyle.